Active or Passive listener??

Listening is one of the most important parts of our communication process. Depending on how actively or passively the receiver listen to the speaker can punctuate or develop the conversation that two people are having at that moment.

Listening versus hearing: Listening is to understand what the speaker is talking about and give feedback but hearing is just to let a sound come into ears. Hearing is neither about understanding the content nor paying attention.

We try to identify if we are whether active or passive listener. For me, it is not that easy to classify myself into particular either active or passive listener. We listen to others depending on many matters such as our mood, location, time and who we are talking to and what kind of topic we are discussing about and so on.

Life is good but sometimes it is complicated. There are days that i just feel lethargic or all of a sudden, I feel sad without any reason to be sad. When I am in these kind of moods, I don’t listen actively. Like I mentioned earlier, I just hear if I have to talk to someone. I don't want to say something to sound stupid or to hurt the speaker's feeling. It also depends on how interesting and important subject I am having with a speaker. If my friend calls me and want to have a conversation about school matter or his/her problem that needs to be solved with my help, then I can engage in that conversation actively even if I am in one of those moods I have mentioned before.

Who would like to wake up and answer a call at midnight while in the middle of a good deep sleep? Mostly, none of us, but I do. Some people turn off their phones when they go to bed, but I leave it on. That doesn’t mean I like to be interrupted my sleep at midnight. Anything could happen anytime to anyone since I live far away from my family and friends. If I receive a call at midnight or anytime, I try to pick up and answer it. And i listen. I will be continuing to listen to the speaker actively if it comes to AGAIN important matter even if it happens at midnight.

Finally, I have tried to identify my listening skill and it turned out to be an active listener. Perhaps, I should say that I have a 90% of active and 10% passive listener character qualities. The reason why i identified myself as an active listener is that i often find myself paying attention and trying to feel and understand on what the speaker is talking about.

"When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen." - Ernest Hemingway

My understanding about axioms...

Communication is something that happens to everyone in their daily lives either verbally or non-verbally through many ways. We don’t really pay attention on what type of communication way we use to interact with others. It just happens naturally and automatically. 

I have learned that there are six different axioms of communication in our “Interpersonal Communication” class. I try to not to mention definitions of each axiom. Instead, i will be trying to use examples to explain each axiom as far as i understood.

Irreversible

Personally i think we use this type of communication to speak with someone who is closer to us or known for a long time. For instance, when i talk to my best friends and family members, i just say directly what is on my mind at that moment. I would say mean things sometimes because i know this person would understand me and not get offended by what i said very easily. And when it comes to different individual, i have to think before i speak up. I can’t just say something mean to stranger. I need to aware of not to hurt or make that person feel bad.

Inevitable

Verbal or non-verbal: The very first thought that hit my mind was “deaf people” when i heard of this term. Literally, deaf people use body language that is called officially called “sign language”. If we take it academically, actually body language and sign language are differ from each other.

Not only deaf people use body language, but also normal people use it, too. For example, let’s imagine we are trying to talk to someone who is standing across the street and can’t hear us. We would have to use body language to say “hi” or “bye” using our hands. We also can say something not pleasant using our hands or fingers to make that person feel bad or hurt.

Unrepeatable

I think this is all about our first impression and feeling that never can be replaced and felt. It can be our good and bad memories and experiences. For example, if i go on a trip with great company, i would never forget about the memories related to that trip. And if i go to that same place but with different people, this time it can not be compared to my first one. I can not bring back all those  same memories no matter how hard i try.

Punctuation

For me, this means changing a topic that i don’t want to talk about into another one. Or to stop talking about something should no longer to be continued. People make mistakes and learn from them. Making the exact same mistake twice is nonsense. If someone tells me over and over about my mistake that i have already made, this conversation should be punctuated since i have already realized, understood and learned from it.

To sum up my thoughts, we just use every type of those axioms daily, only it depends on our mood, whom we are talking to, what we are talking about, where our communication is taking place, how long that conversation is continuing and also what kind of technical device we are using. Every single one of us has that potential to choose what type of axiom to use in certain circumstances to not to hurt others since “communication” helps us to understand each other. Our ultimate goal is just to be happy in this life.

“Speak when you are angry -- and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret” - Laurence Peters